2013 OONA KING

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Oona King lives in a converted pub in Mile End with Italian architect husband Tiberio and their four children. The eloquent Oona, Labour MP for Bow and Bethnal Green from 1997, lost her seat to the Respect Party candidate, George Galloway in a shock result in the 2005 General Election.

Oona was now looking for a new role. How about Labour Candidate for Mayor of London? Sorry not this time, Oona. How about a seat in the Lords – OK – Baroness King of Bow in 2011 – and Diversity Officer for Channel 4 and TV chat show host? But is it enough? In January 2013 the multi-talented Oona launches into a new career skating on thin ice.

It’s a Sunday night, January 2013. Oona, stunning in a glittering black Spandex dance costume, has made it through to Round Three of ITV’s Dancing on Ice. It’s a head-to-head duel between Oona and the bald, dashing gay Welsh Rugby Captain, Gareth Thomas. 5 million viewers have turned on their sets to watch every twist and turn, leg wrap, spiral, chassé and arabesque to decide which celeb is going to skate to victory. And Oona and her partner are doing well. They skim towards the finale of their splendid routine to the tune of Just the Two of Us.

But Oh no! Oona’s pro skater companion poor Mark Hanretty has stumbled. Look! He’s crashed onto the floor and slithered across into the woodwork. Ouch! The European Skating Bronze Medallist is in tears. His shoulder is dislocated. Disaster! The Baroness has accidentally tripped him up! How is this going to go down with the voters?

DAN JONES

About the authors | About Dan Jones | About the project

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